psa: i’m gay

PSA: i’m gay

here’s 5 things I’ve learned on the way: written particularly for LGB folks from evangelical/religious backgrounds (because that’s my experience) and other interested parties. 

1. pray the gay away does not work. trust me- I tried it, and so has everyone else. while I understand that this phrase often comes from a place of longing to protect those you love from having to go through the pain of being queer in a religious community, it’s not helpful. this narrative is what drives so many of our LGBTQ+ friends and family to severe depression and suicide, especially in religious communities.

2. if your faith is important to you, you don’t have to give it up to be with someone you love. and you don’t have to give up someone you love for your faith. you just don’t. these two things can coexist beautifully.

3. discovering that you are gay/bi through a relationship with another person does not make your discovery less valid. truthfully it’s not that hard to stay closeted to yourself, especially if you’re getting limited narratives about LGBTQ+ people from your community that don’t apply to you. everyone’s process is unique and equally valid.

4. it’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to be not angry enough. let yourself be angry when anger is deserved, and let yourself have grace for others sometimes too. sometimes a little time is all people need to come around. but don’t let anyone bully you, and don’t waste time and energy “debating” your existence with people who refuse to listen.

5. there’s a whole lot of people doing super awesome things for the LGBTQ+ community, including people of faith. listen to podcasts, read books, and follow LGBTQ+ folks on social media. it will make you feel more normal, i promise.

thanks for coming to my Ted talk.