what being out has taught me

things being out has taught me, in no particular order:

-surrounding yourself with people who support you, love you unconditionally, and trust that you know yourself best makes all the difference. 

-people who say they love you can be the cruelest of all. that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be cruel. it often means they don’t understand and they are refusing to try—because they’re afraid that if they do, their whole worldview might fall apart. and sometimes people are just cruel. 

-no matter who challenges who you are and who you know you’re supposed to be—you have a right to choose not to engage. you don’t owe an explanation of your existence to anyone. live your best life, and don’t give two fucks about who may or may not approve of your “lifestyle.” easier said than done. 

-some people feel safe to be your whole self around, and some don’t. trust your gut. 

-it’s much easier to discover who you are and continue to grow when you are honest with yourself and the people around you. that doesn’t mean come out before you are ready. 

-it is important to sit in your feelings sometimes. to feel them, to process them, and then to keep going. but sometimes that’s too hard, and it’s okay to distract yourself until you’re ready to feel them. 

-pretending to be someone you’re not, even in little ways, is exhausting. so, don’t hold back the 4 letter words, dance in the kitchen, sing in the car at the top of your lungs, communicate your boundaries, give honest feedback, don’t pretend you like something just because everyone else does, make the joke you’re worried only you’ll think is funny, and chase after what makes you feel happy, safe, known, and fully yourself. 

happy national coming out day 🌈